Volume 003: Looking for Love - Watch The Loom

Table of Contents

1. What About Love?

2. 🔍️ A Search for Romance

3. 🎏 Business Feature - Unity Studio, Home of Toront …

4. ❤️‍🔥 Products I’m Enjoying - Nixit Condoms

5. 📆 My Event Picks 📆

What About Love?

Queue Heart blasting in the background. With February 14th around the corner, I thought it would be timely to focus on one of my favourite things ever. Love. It comes in many shapes and forms, including the ultimate source of truth and noblest of pursuits. But what even is love? It’s used in so many different contexts with varying degrees of consequence - the Greeks did a pretty good job at dissecting it into 7 key types found below:

• Eros: This represents passionate or sexual love, named after the Greek god of fertility. My eyes were really opened to this concept a couple years ago through reading Marc Gafni’s A Return to Eros: The Radical Experience of Being Fully Alive. It teaches of the sacred nature of our sexuality and the vitalizing nature it brings to all dimensions of our being. It opened my eyes and would rank this type of love as perhaps the most potent in my books.

• Philia: This refers to a deep, affectionate regard between friends and sometimes family members. Makes sense, right? Love for a lover vs a family member is different but still counts as love! And yes, this is the same etymological origin of other kinds of Philia, so it’s important to be educated!

• Agape: This is selfless, unconditional love for the love of God and for humanity. It is a form of love that seeks the good of others without expecting anything in return. You can tell when people embody this - I tend to recognize a magnetic quality to those who radiate this type of love.

• Storge: This is more specific to familial love, particularly between parents and children. It can also refer to a general affection or acceptance, like loving one's country or a favorite sports team.

• Philautia: This is self-love, which can be divided into healthy and unhealthy forms. Healthy self-love is the ultimate gateway to growth and evolution. One cannot love others without the ability to love oneself. Not to be misconstrued with narcissism, which we will talk about at a later time. This Valentine's Day, and maybe every day - please do something to love yourself. You’re the only person you’ll be with forever 🙂 

• Pragma: This is mature, long-lasting love that involves understanding, compromise, and tolerance. It is often found in long-term relationships where partners have learned to stand in love rather than fall in love. I think of it as that stable mature love after the intoxication of a honeymoon phase has left and what remains is a “Pragmatic” and healthy kinship and romance.

• Ludus: This is playful love. Think flirtation, teasing, and the joy of dancing or laughing together and perhaps tip-toeing closer to deeper kinds of love. It is a light-hearted and fun type but like all others can certainly evolve into others.

As mentioned in previous editions, I have a growing obsession with the topic of loneliness and intimacy. Intimacy as I come to define it as “closeness to others”. While this may emerge romantically or sexually. I consider platonic intimacy just as valuable, especially in the context of health and wellness as we examine it as a factor in our wellbeing.

So I share these in hopes that they inspire you to look at Valentine’s Day a bit differently this year - and to provide an opening to a new lens on intimacy. The events featured in this edition don’t require a romantic partner, for there are many kinds of love to cultivate. May you find the love you deserve, friends!

🔍️ A Search for Romance

🤗 You’re not alone. I am so grateful for the openness and honesty from everyone I’m interviewing. As I uncover unspoken desires and wishes from the community, a surprising amount of interviewees have expressed a desire for more opportunities to meet romantic partners. Dating apps are out, IRL is in - and there is still a gap to fill around more thoughtful curation and matchmaking. Some people are joining run-clubs, not for running, but just as more social opportunity to meet potential lovers. Here are some high-level findings we’ve uncovered.

• Loneliness and the Search for a Partner: Many interviewees, both single and in relationships, expressed feelings of loneliness and a desire for deeper connection. For single individuals, this often manifested as a desire to find a romantic partner who shared their values and lifestyle. Even individuals in relationships mentioned a lack of deep connection, a sense that they hadn't found their "tribe."

• Misaligned Incentives in Dating Apps: Existing dating apps were criticized for their superficiality, focus on physical appearance, and algorithms that prioritize a small percentage of users. Interviewees felt these apps failed to facilitate meaningful connections based on shared values, particularly related to health and wellness.

• The "Wellness Gap" in Dating: As people prioritize wellness, I believe they become inherently "sexier" – more attractive, vibrant, and self-aware – yet they often struggle to find partners who share this lifestyle. This creates a "wellness gap" in the dating market, where individuals seeking health-conscious partners are underserved.

• Difficulty Meeting People IRL: The pandemic, increased reliance on technology, and the fast-paced nature of urban life have made it harder to meet people organically. Traditional social settings like bars and clubs don't resonate with many in the wellness community, creating a need for alternative spaces and opportunities for connection.

The use of AI in matchmaking is on the rise, with projections that 40% of online dating platforms will use AI to recommend more compatible matches, enhance user safety, and personalize the user experience. Additionally, niche dating apps catering to specific interests or communities are gaining popularity, expected to account for 20% of the online dating market.

I’d say these figures are modest - for any company seeking to remain competitive will need to incorporate AI into their tool set or they’ll get their asses kicked. That being said - what happened to the good old days of leaving it up to fate? That’s what I did and I am glad I did. I have issues with dating apps and the way they train its users to commoditize those on the other side of the screen and put an unfair bias towards physical appearance on our devices. What excited me about this project is that I believe health and wellness are equally as important as physical attractiveness when it comes to mate compatibility, perhaps event more. i.e if you have strong alignment in values and approaches to health and wellbeing, your likelihood of a successful romance is far greater - I can personally vouch for this and have witnesses the same in others.

A lot of young people (age 18–25) barely have sex. According to this study (lol) only 60% of men aged 20–24 (vs 80% of women aged 20–24) had sex at least once in the past year and recent figures would show a continuous drop. These should be concerning to all. We hear a lot about climate concerns and the determinants that face humanity as a result. The reality is that the more pressing concern for humanity is the fertility and mating crisis that is upon us that threatens our species. So for the love of God and humanity, let’s get to the bottom of this. For starters, let’s solve for mate selection.

Intimacy, partnership and connection excite me more than anything. I truly believe these are the greatest teachers and gifts to pursue in life. If this is something that excites you too, please reply back here sharing how! Whether it’s needing support finding a partner, working on a project in this area, or just curious to learn more - I want to chat :)

🎏 Business Feature - Unity Studio, Home of Toronto’s Harmonic Egg 🔉 

This past weekend, I had the privilege of meeting with Ciara, owner of The Unity Studio here in Toronto’s West End. Ciara has also created a beautiful home for the incredible technology and immersive healing experience that is the Harmonic Egg, while also offering a gorgeous event space for anyone looking. Be it music, art, dance, cooking and more - her studio is special, and I invite you all to check it out - especially the weekly offerings such as Breathwork, Sound Healing, Men’s Circles and more.

The Harmonic Egg is a fascinating piece of technology that’s been on my radar to try for quite some time now. This is the premiere model, the Ellipse that I tried out. One session was like a total psychedelic journey where I experienced a complete out-of-body experience that was quite profound. As described on the website: The Harmonic Egg is a unique, patented bio healing resonance chamber offering integrative energy therapy using light, sound, frequency and vibration to activate the body’s own natural ability to rebalance and restore itself, created to promote mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual healing. In one session, I can attest to the power of this chamber and will certainly be returning for future “recalibrations”.

❤️‍🔥 Products I’m Enjoying - Nixit Condoms

A better way to play safe. In keeping with this edition’s theme - I am sharing my favourite form of protection to use for intercourse! Behold, the Nixit Condom. Free of chemicals like parabens, spermicide, fragrances and other weird things that shouldn’t be touching our bodies. Not to mention the natural feel and lubrication that is on point compared to other brands. They’re available online and at many local health food stores too such as Whole Foods. Try them out, especially if you’re looking to transition away from old legacy brands like Trojan or Durex that have all kinds of weird stuff on them.

Why Ditch the Junk?

Most commercial condoms are loaded with those ingredients mentioned above that can disrupt your body’s natural balance, cause irritation, or even interfere with long-term health. Here’s a few short points on what’s in there:

• Parabens – These synthetic preservatives are used to extend shelf life, but they also mimic estrogen in the body, throwing off your hormonal balance. Parabens have been linked to reproductive issues, lower sperm quality, and even an increased risk of certain cancers. Given how absorbent the skin in our intimate areas is, avoiding parabens in condoms is a no-brainer.

• Spermicide (Nonoxynol-9) – Marketed as an extra layer of pregnancy prevention, spermicide can actually do more harm than good. It’s known to cause irritation and microtears in vaginal and rectal tissue, which can increase the risk of infections and make you more susceptible to STIs. It also throws off the vaginal microbiome, leading to discomfort, imbalances, and recurring issues like yeast infections or BV.

• Synthetic Fragrances – If a condom needs added fragrance to smell good, that’s a red flag. These "fragrances" are often made up of undisclosed chemicals that can contain phthalates—another class of endocrine disruptors linked to hormonal imbalances and fertility issues. Plus, synthetic scents are a common cause of irritation and allergic reactions.

• Questionable Lubricants & Latex Processing – Many mainstream condoms use petroleum-based lubricants, which can interfere with vaginal pH and increase the risk of irritation or infections. Some also contain casein (a dairy byproduct), making them non-vegan and potentially problematic for those with dairy sensitivities. And unless the latex is processed properly, residual chemicals from manufacturing can linger on the condom itself.

If we’re paying attention to the ingredients in our food, skincare, and personal care products, why wouldn’t we be just as mindful about what we use during sex? It took me longer than I’d like to admit to bring this level of conscientiousness to my protection, so I hope you fellas and bellas can learn now too!

📆 My Event Picks 📆

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🙏 Special Thanks This Week:

To my beloved partner, Chelsea. For all the support, encouragement and unconditional love shared with me in creating this newsletter and in every waking day we have together.

Thank you, I love you all ❤️ 

Adam